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Partings
I watch you, a silent figure, as you walk alone into the distance.
Your outline is blurred, I know not whether by my tears or by the rain.
It is autumn. Leaves fall all around you as you walk on, oblivious
To the death of a year, a relationship, the start of another round of pain.
I stare into the mirror and see swollen, tear-stained desperation.
Prosaic realism: so different from the reflection as I stared into
your eyes.
My vision mists over, I imagine I see you standing beside me, smiling,
I blink, the image vanishes, I curse myself for believing my mind's
enticing lies.
Oh, to return now to the naivety of that first innocent encounter;
Halcyon days, a time with your infectious joy forever by my side.
The memories of long-gone happiness suffocate and choke me now.
I wallow in my loss, curtains drawn against the world whilst I hide.
Futile now to express frustration, resentment, anger at this ending.
Life leads inexorably along a path from ecsatsy to despair.
Craving acceptance, love and worship, I seek to start afresh;
Behind me strewn the waste of loves lost and friendships past repair.
Visage d'Ange
Apres-midi. Ton visage d'ange toujours dans mes pensees.
L'image de ton corps nu sous les rayons du soleil;
Cheveux d'or, yeux de cristal bleu percant mon coeur,
Mon ame succombant sous la puissance de notr' amour.
Nuit. La lune et des millions des etoiles brillant d'un ciel noir,
Ta tete sur mes seins, cheveux deranges de l'amour du soir.
Tes doigts sur mes levres, forcant mon silence,
Remplacant mes angoisses par la joie de la jouissance.
Matin. Je vois la lumiere naissante caressant tes joues,
Mes baisers, comme un papillon voletant si doux.
Passion s'eveille sous le toucher de mes doigts;
Secret, sacre, cet amour du matin avec toi.
Androgyne, je touchais ton peau, je sensais ta magie,
J'embrassais avidement cet amour qui dominait ma vie.
Je me permettais de croire toutes tes promesses:
Tu irais satisfaire mes reves, j'etais ta deesse.
Et si ca ne peut pas durer? Si le batiment tombe?
S'il faut detaler des decombres pour echapper cet ombre?
Si l'amour, comme le feu, finit toujours dans les cendres?
J'espere proteger toujours les souvenirs d'un amour si tendre.
Distant love
Once so close, and now we distant strangers meet again.
Emotionless conversation, no sign of any hidden pain.
Yet there beneath the surface lurks an ever-present ache:
No longer mine, a vile nightmare from which I can never wake.
So tense, so strained our meetings, we pass with barely a nod,
A shallow smile, a tentative wave, a "Hello" across the quad.
This was not the way we wanted it, but was there any choice?
So many memories in your eyes, such pain when I hear your voice.
I loved you then, I lost you, but still the feelings live,
Each wanted and required more than the other one could give.
So, sorrowfully, we parted and went our separate ways,
A leaden cloud of misery replacing the sunny haze.
But still I get to thinking, why did it have to end?
Memories of the happiness then leave a hole I cannot mend.
Still they try, and still they fail, their efforts all in vain,
New wooers of my heart, who know not the source of pain.
Sometimes still I get the feeling we two were meant to be,
But, fearful of the future, we decided not to see
If things could work between us, if we could make things last
And so I took the easy route, and consigned you to the past.
Diana Galletly (93dag@eng.cam.ac.uk)
© 1995 Copyright reserved
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